Egg Donation & Surrogacy Consulting : Conceptual Options : Theresa Erickson : Embryo Donation, In-Vitro Fertilization

On March 12, 2008 Jamie-Rose Roberts was born.  The unsuspecting newborn had no idea how special she really is.

Lisa and James Roberts had dreams of a large family.  They had already had a son, Cameron, when James found out that he had cancer.  In an attempt to create their large family, James and Lisa decided to freeze James' sperm before he would undergo chemotherapy. 

Despite the treatment, the cancer spread and James died in October 2004. 

Over the next few years, Lisa thought about the frozen sperm, but couldn't bare having a child without James.  Then in February 2007, Lisa was ready for their second child.

Lisa had an egg retrieval which only produced two (2) eggs.  James' sperm where injected into the eggs and the wait started.  By the next day, there was only one (1) embryo and it was not of good quality.  Lisa was given a 20% chance of getting pregnant with the embryo. 

The embryo transfer was successful and Lisa had an uncomplicated, normal pregnancy. 

When Jamie was born, Lisa says "She was the image of her father."  Cameron suggested that his sister be named after their late father.  Thus Jamie-Rose is cared for and loved by her mother, brother and watched over by her father.

This is such a warm, feel-good story.  I wanted to share it with you.

www.conceptualoptions.com

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So often we talk about infertility with women, but what happens when it's male infertility?  I have provided some basic information about cryobanks (sperm banks). 

There are two main motives that drive donors:

1.  Donations from fertile men who are preserving their reproductive options.  Men will bank their sperm if they are about to undergo surgery, cancer treatment or have a low sperm count.   These are men who want to be able to achieve parenthood at a later time in their life.

2.  Donations from men who contribute for financial reasons.  Men who donate to help infertile couples achieve a family.

If you think it is difficult to get into an Ivy League school, try becoming a sperm donor!  Less than 5 percent of all candidates will be accepted as a donor.  The screening process is vigorous and takes about three (3) months to complete.  Samples and donors are screening continually for sexually transmitted diseases and genetic issues.  Additionally, all donors are screened for cystic fibrosis and undergo chromosome analysis.

Donors may choose to be anonymous or ID Consent Donors.  Anonymous donors are willing provide descriptive details about themselves and their family history with the understanding that they will never have direct communication with the recipients of their sperm or future offspring.  ID Consent donors agree to allow the sperm bank to release identifying information about themselves to the offspring once they reach 18 years of age.  ID Consent Donor are not required to meet the offspring;  the program is designed to provide genetic information to the offspring.

Once the donation has been made, the sperm samples are prepared with a solution that minimizes damage during the freezing and thawing processes.  The samples are frozen using liquid nitrogen. 

Previously frozen sperm doesn't live as long inside a woman's uterus as fresh sperm.  Thawed sperm lives up to 24 hours while fresh sperm can live for 3 - 5 days.  There is no additional risk for birth defects using donated sperm.   

If you require additional information about this, please contact a local cryobank.

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Infertility can be a draining process.  For many couples, it starts by wanting a child and then finding out for some reason it won't be so easy for them.  Depending on why you aren't getting pregnant the solutions can be exhausting.

Infertility affects some 6 million Americans.  For most, this is a major life crisis that puts enormous stress on a marriage.  While some couples become stronger;  learning to lean on and support each other through the experience.  Other couples feel it drives them apart.  This is not to say that they don't still love one another, but the feelings of loss are overwhelming. 

You need to understand that everyone copes differently.  Some people become quiet, because the pain to much to face.  While others want to take it head on and consume themselves in the search discussing every avenue of the situation.  It is important to understand both your partners and your own way of dealing with this.  Most importantly is to communicate and let each other know how you are feeling. 

While searching for the right donor or surrogate, don't loose sight of who you are.  Continue to live, have fun with each other.  Enjoy dinner out, go see a movie - Do the things you have enjoyed together.  Not only will this give you something else to focus on, but it will remind you of what you love about the other person.

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Today is Easter Sunday which typically is a day spent with family.  We usually have a quiet morning and then family starts to arrive for brunch and an afternoon together.  While everyone is at our house, the house is loud and the kids are running from one end of the house to the other.  By the evening everyone is ready to relax and sit quietly.

As a surrogate the holidays have an extra special benefit.  All four (4) families I have helped to have children call me on holidays.  All our lives get busy and the surrogate children, just like my own, grow bigger and have busier schedules.  Through out our day to day lives we don't always make the time to call each other.  So when we do get an opportunity to talk for 10 or 15 minutes it is always appreciated. 

Today when I was on the phone it was amazing to me that all but one of the children could wish me a Happy Easter on their own.  This was extra special.  I was able to talk with five (5) of the six (6) kids I had a hand in bringing into the world.  The sixth is too young, but I did get some baby talk out of her as well.  This makes my heart grow. 

It is moments like today that truly make me appreciate all I have. 

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Todd and Heather Tilton celebrated their 25th birthday on March 17, 2008.  They were the first "test tube" twins born in the United States.

The thing that made them feel unique when growing up was knowing the lengths their parents went to have them.  "I always felt that I was very wanted because it was such a big decision and very difficult", Heather said.  "It shows my parents determination".

I hope you enjoy this story as much as I did.  It's great to know that IVF babies grow up to be well adjusted adults, just like any of us. 

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There is a lot of hype about whether acupuncture aids in conception with IVF.  Some professionals believe it absolutely helps while others think it is just another expense to the couple.

Eric Manheimer, a research associate at the University of Maryland School of Medicine's Center for Integrative Medicine looked at seven trials that included 1,366 women undergoing IVF.  Each trial compared acupuncture given within one day of the embryo transfer to sham acupuncture (using a placebo needle) or no acupunction.  They found that the women who had the acupuncture increased their chances of becoming pregnant by 65 percent.    This means that 10 women would need to be treated with acupunction to result in one additional pregnancy. 

It was also found that in Centers where the pregnancy rates are already high, the benefit of acupuncture was small and non-significant. 

At this time, most IVF patients who are participating in acupunction are doing so without the suggestion of their doctor.  Rather, they choose to do so themselves.   Dr. Owen K. Davis, co-director and associate professor at the Center for Reproductive Medicine and Infertility at Weill Medical College of Cornell University in New York City said "I don't think we can say conclusively that acupuncture is effective or is anywhere near being a standard care, but it's not something I would discourage someone from trying if they wanted to.  But I'm far removed from prescribing it to patients".

As a surrogate, I have worked with Intended Parents who felt it would be helpful.  I went the Acupuncturist once a week while cycling to the transfer.  Then the Acupuncturist met me at the IVF Center one hour before the transfer.  I saw her one more time before my pregnancy test.  I was pregnant, but no more pregnant than the other three times it was successful without acupuncture.  I will say that acupuncture is very relaxing.  You are at peace with yourself  while you are laying there.   

At this time incorporating acupunction into your IVF treatment is an individual decision.  If you feel better having acupuncture, then if may work for you.

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There was a report done by University of Melbourne (Australia) that showed that moms who have their babies using IVF (with or without a donor or surrogate) have a lower level of confidence when it comes to caring for their newborn baby. 

I was quite surprised to read this.  After everything a woman goes through to have a child using IVF I would think the opposite would be true.  These women have already overcome so many obstacles I would expect them to have a huge sense of empowerment.  A feeling of anything is possible and the confidence of "there isn't anything I can't do".

All new parents have felt anxious and overwhelmed by bringing their first child home from the hospital.  There are no books that can clearly prepare you for the change in priorities and patterns in your life.  For so many this can be extremely exhausting.  This is not something that is tied to IVF, this is universal. 

This makes me remember a time with my son (who is my second child);  It was about 2:00a.m., he was a week old and  was just crying and crying.  I was walking with him in my arms downstairs.  I tried everything, but there was no pleasing him. The house was quiet, everyone else was upstairs sleeping, so his cry just echoed in my ears.   I had tried everything till finally I completely broke down crying.  At that moment I was thinking "I can't do this, I'm not a good enough mother to have two kids".  The more upset I became the harder it was to calm him down.  Finally I sat down, took a deep breath and then just like magic, he fell asleep.  When we both woke up a few hours later, I had my confidence back and was ready for the new day.

Regardless of how your baby came to be, celebrate the moments and know you are the best mom you can be.  There will be times when you need help and there will be times you can run the entire world while making dinner and vacuuming the house with the baby in a carrier on your chest!!

Being a mother is the hardest thing a woman can be.  Put forward your best efforts and your child will know your love is true. 

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Throughout my week in the office, I receive many calls from Intended Parents who are just starting to look at egg donors or surrogacy as an option.  Often they do not know what steps to take to make their dream of parenthood come true.  Thier website search had lead them to me, but they aren't sure what comes next. 

For obvious reasons, it will be necessary for the couple to have an IVF Physician or Center selected.  There are many factors you will want to consider when choosing an IVF Physician. 

• Success Rate of the Center
• Quality of Service (Compasion, Care, Cleamliness, etc.)
• Location

I would strongly suggest that you create a list of potential Centers, make an appoitment for a consultation at each and then take notes as you discuss the options with the Physician.  You can also ask to have a tour of the facility.  You wil want to see that the facility appears to run smoothly, meaning that office staff are being productive, communicating with eachother in a manner that creates a effective environment.  Are the examing rooms clean, nothing left behind from the previous patient or exams.  And most important, do you feel comfortable and possitive about the experience. 

The decision made is a personal one.  Just because a friend or family member used a particular facility, does not mean that facility will be right for you.  The best thing you can do is to research your choice before committing to your decision.

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This year there has been a lot of publicity about Surrogacy in India.  While the cost for the IVF process and the Surrogate's compensation is less then here in the United States, Intended Parents are missing out.

Having been a surrogate mother, I can assure you that the Intended Parents are missing out on the entire emotional connection that happens between the surrogate and parents.  I have helped both domestic and international couples.  Regardless of how many miles are between us, there is a an overlap of compassion for each other. 

The parents going to India are not able to build a relationship, share in the pregnancy or participate in the birth with their surrogate.  They never know any personal details about their surrogate, let alone her name.  The surrogates are young women who are interested in the money to create fortune for their families. 

I find this to be a very cold way to have a child.  While I do believe the opportunity for an infertile couple to have a child is a wonderful thing.  I question at what price these parents are paying?

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