What's In a Name
I found a website with the top Baby Names for 2007. This is just fun to look at and look through.
New Fertility Testing
In Europe there is a blood test that has been used to test the AMH (Anti-Mullierian Hormone) levels in women. Michael Alper, Chief Medical Officer of Boston IVF believes this test is an excellent predictor of a woman's egg count. The test is done from a blood sample.
At this time the FDA has not approved this for use in the United States, however it is possible that your doctor can provide the test. You would need to consult with your phsycian.
So if you are anxious about the ticking of your biological clock - This could be the test for you.
Recipe for a Boy
So many people have an idea of whether they would prefer to have a boy or girl when talking about having a baby. Searchers have found that you can increase your chances for having a boy by simply changing your breakfast habits.
Women who eat a breakfast made of high-energy foods dramatically increase their odds of getting pregnant with a boy. Fiona Mathews, of the University of Exeter, said eating high-calorie breakfasts seemed to be the best guarantee of influencing the gender of a baby in favor of boys before conception.
The discovery of a link between calories and gender may explain why it is that in the past 40 years there has been a small but steady decline in the proportion of boys born in the developed world.
Up to 59% of women who get pregnant after eating high-energy breakfasts end up giving birth to a son. Researchers have found only 43% of women who always skipped breakfast before conceiving managed to produce boys.
So if you are interested in trying to conceive a boy, let me suggest you stick to your "Wheaties".
Fertility Research
Science and Technology is always growing in the field of infertility. I found this article which I thoughht you might enjoy reading.
It just amazes me what we are able to do.
Summer Pregnancy
With summer fast approaching I would like to just remind those of you who are pregnant or are soon to become pregnant the importance of water.
It is very important not to let yourself get dehydrated. A pregnant woman should drink 8 eight ounce glasses (64 ounces) of water each day. I am certain at least one person is thinking "I will be at the bathroom every hour". While this may be true, it is better to be in the bathroom then in the hospital.
The summer sun can drain your body of it's fluids quickly. Plan ahead to be certain you will have enough to drink if you are going to be outside for any length of time. Cooling your body temperature can help you to retain fluids more effectively, however it is not a solution to overcoming dehydration.
Dehydration can cause pre-term labor, miscarriage and hemoraging. These are serious conditions that could harm the baby inside. Some of the signs of dehydration include:
- Dark yellow urine
- More frequent Braxton Hicks Contractions
- Dizziness
- Constipation
- Dry skin
If you begin to experience any of these symptoms you should be certain to drink more and consult your physician.
Have a safe summer.
The Benefits of Using an Experienced Donor
I found a website today that I really enjoyed reading. It is written by a Reproductive Endocrinologist about his experiences. It has an a question and answer area as well as an area with true stories.
In the story that I was reading, the women who was going through the ovary stimulation was the Intended Mother. As I was reading it, it dawned on me that this would be excellent information for my intended parents and donors alike to know.
The benefit to using an experienced donor is not just simply that they understand the commitment and the medications. It is that once the medical records are forwarded to the IVF Physician you are using, they know from past experience what medication and how much works to get the best results from that donor.
I hope you enjoy reading this sight as much as I did. I will returning to read more in the future.
What's The Husband's Role
I was in a "Match Meeting" with the Intended Parents and a first time surrogate. The surrogate's husband sat at her side, with a look like he wasn't sure why he was there. When I asked the husband if he was prepared to support his wife through the pregnancy he shrugged and said "I'm not sure what to expect".
That is when it dawned on me that while we spend a lot of time counseling and educating the surrogate what to expect, we don't say much to her spouse/partner. I would like to take a stand for the spouses/partners out there.
Surrogacy is a long process. The surrogate will be in a relationship with the Intended Parents for at least a year. It is important that you feel comfortable about who the Intended Parents are. I would always recommend that you take an interest in getting to know the Intended Parents. Read their profile and prepare a list of questions for the match meeting. If there is any information you would like to know, this is the time to ask.
Once the match is made the pregnancy moves forward. You will the one who is called on when your wife is tired. You will need to be understanding to the fact that this pregnancy isn't something she can just put aside. Your extra compassion and understanding will be appreciated whether she verbally tells you or not.
For what ever it is worth, the pregnancy will not last forever. In time, you will have your wife back. So take a deep breath and roll with the punches.
Tax Relief
We are coming up to the dreaded "Income Tax Deadline". By midnight tonight, many of us will know if we owe Uncle Sam or if he will be lining our pockets with a little something.
Some states allow you to use the medical costs of IVF and/or surrogacy as a tax write-off. While this won't be the interest on your mortgage, it is better than nothing. I would suggest that you contact your Tax Consultant or CPA to ask what the specifics are for the area where you live.
If you are just getting started down the road of treatment or surrogacy, you will want to be sure to save every receipt and invoice. I know when I was a surrogate, I would fax the invoices to my agency and then mail the original to my Intended Parents. The agency always took care of getting the invoice paid, while the parents had the documentation for the following years taxes.
And remember, by this time next year you will have a dependent to add!
How Many To Transfer?
"IntSo often I am asked by Intended Parents how many embryos should be transferred. Time and time again I explain to them that their IVF Physician will talk to them on the morning of the transfer. During this meeting, the IVF Physician will discuss the quality of the embryos they have.
If Intended Parents go into the transfer without preconceived ideas of how many embryos they want used, then I think there would be less chance for anyone to be disappointed. If your embryos are of high quality, you will transfer fewer of them.
I recently read an article about a 31 year old woman in Manhasset, New York who gave birth to identical triplets. She used IVF, had one (1) embryo transferred and that embryo split to be triplets. So although they were being conservative about the number of embryos transferred, they still ended up with a high-risk multiple pregnancy.
Lets not forget why we're doing this....for a baby.
So You're Having a Baby
It took so much time and energy to get pregnant. All the doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, shots and countless tears. At last, the news you have been waiting for "You're Pregnant!".
Many couples who use IVF to achieve pregnancy have embryo's remaining even after they are pregnant. Some couples choose to pay the storage fees considering the idea of siblings. While other couples just aren't sure what to do with the remaining embryos.
Embryo donation is an option that you may want to consider. This can provide another couple the opportunity to experience the same joys you have...pregnancy and parenthood. The Donor Parents can review profiles of Recipient Parents to decide who will receive their embryos or it can be done completely anonymously. In either case, there is no cost to the Donor Parents.
Giving the gift of life has rewards unlike anything else. I urge couples who have unused frozen embryos to consider, for just a moment, providing another family the opportunity to experience parenthood.
Just a Feel Good Story
I came accross this "feel good" story about a family in the UK. Thought I would share it with you.
http://www.stockportexpress.co.uk/news/s/1044456_ice_ice_baby
It's a short, but well worth while article. Enjoy.
Dynamics of the Relationship
When I first considering being a surrogate one of the thoughts that rang through my head was "will the intended mother get jealous of me?" This played a big role in my decision at first.
My concern was centered around the fact that I was helping a couple with something that the wife was not able to do on her own. I thought about the scenario of the couple sitting around the kitchen table in the evening hours (while I'm carrying their child), that perhaps they would speak of me. How would that woman feel?
Since I really didn't know how to answer this question, I chose to do my first surrogacy for a gay couple (two men). That eliminated my concern. While my first time as a surrogate was a wonderful experience from start to finish, I knew I wanted to do it again and this time it would be for a heterosexual couple.
The first time I met the Intended Parents, I knew that my concerns were unnecessary. Both parents were so thankful that I was willing to do this for them, that there was never anything other than a friendship. In fact the Intended Mother and I created a lifelong bond that is unlike any other.
I have enjoyed all my experiences as a surrogate and use these experiences as tools when I talk with surrogates and/or intended parents. I am hopeful that I can shed a new perspective to someone out there who doesn't know what to expect.
If you are considering surrogacy, but are concerned about the dynamics of the relationship between you and the intended parents, my best suggestion is to be yourself during the initial meeting. As long as you are yourself, you will provide a positive image to the intended parents and it will be easier for you to determine how this relationship with blossom.
The Zoo Keeper
Any woman who has or is considering becoming a surrogate, has the task of telling their family. For some women, this is as exciting as reading up on other surrogates. For others, it's not so easy.
I was a teenager, about 16 years old, when I knew that someday I wanted to be a surrogate mother. The idea just floated about in the back of my head for many years. It wasn't until my husband and I had our family and I knew we were done that the idea resurfaced.
Before I brought the idea to my husband's attention, I did all the research about it. I wanted to be sure I could answer all his questions medically, emotionally and about the agency I was considering working with. This may seem a bit sneaky to do all this research before he even knew the thought was in my head. But I know my husband, an engineer, who has to know all the answers before considering an idea. When I brought the idea to him, I was surprised by his reaction. Once he saw this wasn't a fly-by-night idea, he was quite supportive.
Now for the other part of our family - My kids. I wanted them to know what I was planning on doing as well. How would this affect them? From what I had researched, I didn't think it would change their lives at all. My daughter was 8 and my son was 3. How would I explain this without confusing them about it. This is how I explained it to them:
I want to help a family have a baby. I am going to be like a Zoo Keeper. When a Mommy and Daddy bird lay an egg, the Zoo Keeper takes the egg from the nest. That Zoo Keeper is then responsible for keeping the egg warm and healthy. The Zoo Keeper is never the eggs parents, but does everything to care for that egg. Once the egg hatches, the baby bird inside gets to return to it's Mommy and Daddy. This is what I am going to do. I will have a baby in my belly, but the baby will not be ours, once it is born it will go back to it's Mommy and Daddy.
Both of kids have been to the Zoo Nursery enough times that they completely got the idea. This excited them as much as it excited me.
I went on to have six (6) children as the Zoo Keeper. My entire family was supportive through each and every one of the them.
It's All In The Timing
Many times when I speak with Intended Parents about retaining an egg donor they are wanting a donor who is available now. While I completely understand their desire to move forward, I would like to explain the time line involved with Assisted Reproduction.
Intended Parents can feel discouraged when they find a donor they think is perfect and then they find out she isn't available for a few months. To the parent who wants a baby or pregnancy now, that does sound like it is a long way out. The reality is, it takes several weeks for the paperwork to be completed before a cycle can be started.
Once a donor is selected by the Intended Parents, the case manager will contact the donor to let her know that her next available cycle is contracted. At this time, the donor will be given a match agreement to confirm she is aware of the commitment. Once that is received, we will make arrangements for the donor to be screening by the Psychologist and the Intended Parents IVF Physician. Sometimes it can be a few weeks before there is an opening at the IVF Center for the donor to be seen. The cycle can not be started until after the donor passes all the screening.
While all the screening is taking place, the contracts are started. The contracts can take anywhere from three (3) to five (5) weeks to complete. This time line is dependent on how many revisions are made by each party and how efficiently all parties sign and return the contract.
Once the contracts are full executed and the donor has passed all the medical screening the cycle can begin.
So if you are interested in a donor today, but she isn't available for 2-3 months, don't get discouraged. That is actually perfect timing for getting all the paperwork and screening in order. Then you will be having your cycle close to her availability instead of months after retaining her.
Womb for Rent - True Story?
So the news is out - Newsweek has put surrogacy on the front cover and now everybody is talking about it.
I think surrogacy is a wonderful option for an infertile couple to achieve parenthood. I felt like Newsweek has missed this . Their article is so focused on who and why women become a surrogate mother, yet their interviews and viewpoint are one sided.
I am a middle-class working mother who has also been a surrogate for four (4) families. My husband and I make a good living, while we are by no means wealthy, I did not choose surrogacy for the money. For me, surrogacy is a passion. I love the idea of helping someone achieve a dream through something that is so easy for me to do. The emotional rewards far out-weigh the monetary aspects.
Through out my time as a surrogate, I have made many friendships with other surrogates. A bit of a friendly support group if you will. We all talk with one another and have compared pregnant bellies. Of this group of women, none of us are military wives.
I feel as though Newsweek is misleading it's readers by looking through a magnifying glass at one particular group of people and centering it's article on that..
For some women, the financial aspect may be what draws them into inquiring about surrogacy (especially in today's economy), however it is not usually the reason they continue forward with the process. Experienced surrogates are definitely in it to help someone; These are women who have a big heart and easy pregnancies.
As far as the insurance issue goes, I have used my health insurance (provided by my employer) to cover my medical expenses as a surrogate. With is not segregated to just Tricare Insurance.
I think any national coverage which can make surrogacy more acceptable in society is a positive thing. I just hope that as you read the article in Newsweek that you keep an open mind.
