The Zoo Keeper
Any woman who has or is considering becoming a surrogate, has the task of telling their family. For some women, this is as exciting as reading up on other surrogates. For others, it's not so easy.
I was a teenager, about 16 years old, when I knew that someday I wanted to be a surrogate mother. The idea just floated about in the back of my head for many years. It wasn't until my husband and I had our family and I knew we were done that the idea resurfaced.
Before I brought the idea to my husband's attention, I did all the research about it. I wanted to be sure I could answer all his questions medically, emotionally and about the agency I was considering working with. This may seem a bit sneaky to do all this research before he even knew the thought was in my head. But I know my husband, an engineer, who has to know all the answers before considering an idea. When I brought the idea to him, I was surprised by his reaction. Once he saw this wasn't a fly-by-night idea, he was quite supportive.
Now for the other part of our family - My kids. I wanted them to know what I was planning on doing as well. How would this affect them? From what I had researched, I didn't think it would change their lives at all. My daughter was 8 and my son was 3. How would I explain this without confusing them about it. This is how I explained it to them:
I want to help a family have a baby. I am going to be like a Zoo Keeper. When a Mommy and Daddy bird lay an egg, the Zoo Keeper takes the egg from the nest. That Zoo Keeper is then responsible for keeping the egg warm and healthy. The Zoo Keeper is never the eggs parents, but does everything to care for that egg. Once the egg hatches, the baby bird inside gets to return to it's Mommy and Daddy. This is what I am going to do. I will have a baby in my belly, but the baby will not be ours, once it is born it will go back to it's Mommy and Daddy.
Both of kids have been to the Zoo Nursery enough times that they completely got the idea. This excited them as much as it excited me.
I went on to have six (6) children as the Zoo Keeper. My entire family was supportive through each and every one of the them.
