What's The Husband's Role
I was in a "Match Meeting" with the Intended Parents and a first time surrogate. The surrogate's husband sat at her side, with a look like he wasn't sure why he was there. When I asked the husband if he was prepared to support his wife through the pregnancy he shrugged and said "I'm not sure what to expect".
That is when it dawned on me that while we spend a lot of time counseling and educating the surrogate what to expect, we don't say much to her spouse/partner. I would like to take a stand for the spouses/partners out there.
Surrogacy is a long process. The surrogate will be in a relationship with the Intended Parents for at least a year. It is important that you feel comfortable about who the Intended Parents are. I would always recommend that you take an interest in getting to know the Intended Parents. Read their profile and prepare a list of questions for the match meeting. If there is any information you would like to know, this is the time to ask.
Once the match is made the pregnancy moves forward. You will the one who is called on when your wife is tired. You will need to be understanding to the fact that this pregnancy isn't something she can just put aside. Your extra compassion and understanding will be appreciated whether she verbally tells you or not.
For what ever it is worth, the pregnancy will not last forever. In time, you will have your wife back. So take a deep breath and roll with the punches.
