Egg Donation = Prostitution? Are You Kidding Me?
Wow, I love when people give me something to talk about. And, this story is certainly one of them. I understand and acknowlegde arguments made by some against egg donation because of exploitation and medical risks, but this is truly a new one.
At a conference in the UK, Dr. Naomi Pfeffer, who researches controversial developments in medicine, told the Motherhood in the 21st Century Conference at the University College London that “The exchange relationship is analogous to that of a client and a prostitute. It’s a unique situation because it’s the only instance in which a woman exploits another woman’s body.”
Honestly, I do believe that her intentions were good as she was merely warning that increasing numbers of “vulnerable women in developed countries” were being exploited by Westerners who were desperate to conceive. I do understand issue as stated above, and I do think that something needs to be done on that front; however, charges of prostitution by the women desperately wanting a child??? I guess it got people to listen.
She continued by stating that “Most of these women are in developing economies where access to healthcare is limited by their ability to pay. They are often vulnerable women and it’s a very unequal economic relationship.
“These women are being encouraged to take real risks with their health through ovarian stimulation and egg retrieval. It commodifies women’s bodies and treats their reproductive capacities as a service.”
Unfortunately, Pfeffer also stated that British parents should face up to the consequences of their actions. “They should know that they are using vulnerable women. These women who are buying eggs have to appreciate that the eggs don’t appear from a stork or from under a gooseberry bush.” However, we cannot forget that many British doctors refer patients abroad if they do not want to join the NHS's three-year waiting list for donor eggs. That is clearly a long time for any woman.
The likely answer in all of this is not to punish the women who desperately want a child, as they too are vulnerable. Instead, changes within the British government, as well as these other countries such as Spain, Romania, the Czech Republic, and Ukraine, need to take place to ensure that everyone is protected.
Again, just my two cents.
Women should see the ability to donate eggs as liberating. Men have always had the ability to 'spread their seed', often leaving a woman to take on the total cost of raising a child. As science writer Matt Ridley put it, "It is a fair bet that Casanova left more descendents than the Whore of Babylon." From a reproductive standpoint, an avid egg donor is the penultimate reprodutive success. Mens' sexual desire is derived from our urge to procreate. Women are limited in this desire in that bearing a great number of children limits the viability of their existing offspring. Egg donation allows a woman to circumvent this.
I think its fine for a woman to choose to become pregnant with a donor egg as long as she does not lie to the child or people around her by saying that the child is hers or by calling herself the child's mother. Pretending to be a childs mother or father especially on the birth certificate.
Its possible to become a mother without ever being pregnant or giving birth to your own child so long as your fertilized egg can be implanted in the womb of a surrogate who will carry and deliver your baby for you. Her pregnancy and child birth will not be evident at all in the child's dna and based on test results alone no one would ever be able to tell that you had not given birth to the child yourself. Its impossible to errase true motherhood. The surogate despite all her efforts will remain biologically unrelated to the child because she did not create him, he did not originate from her.
THE fact that a man can have a clinic fertilize an anonymous woman's egg and then have it implanted in his wife's womb does not make his wife the mother of his child it makes his wife the anonymous woman's surogate. When his child is born, he will be the father, the anonymous woman will be the mother because they reproduced themselves and created a child. The fact that his wife delivered the baby gives everyone the impression that he and his wife had a baby even though they didnt. His wife delivered her own step child. The mother abandoned her responsibilities and left the child to be raised by the father and his wife. As long as nobody pretends that giving birth makes a woman a biological mother everything is fine. The real danger in donor sperm and eggs is that a lot of people prefer this option to adopting because it seems more like they were able to reproduce and have a child of their own. Its a charade and since it ultimately involves falsifying another perosns identity it really should be a crime. I think ethical use of reproductive technology can be achieved if people are dna tested to ensure a maternal or paternal connection before being added to a birth certificate as mother or father.
I know that the previous post was back in March, but after reading Marilynn's post I was just burning with the desire to rebute. I think that it is complete ignorance that you would say that just because a child does not share the same dna with the woman who carried her for 9 months, that she is not the mother. Anyone can be a mother or father by dna, but it takes a real special person to be the child's actual mom. So, I'm guessing that you would say that a couple who adopt a child are not that child's parents??? Shame on you. I am a 27 year old woman that has been diagnosed with DOR and my husband and I have opted to use donor eggs rather than adoption for a number of reasons. First, the procedure is a lot cheaper, secondly, in my state a birth mother has 30 days after giving up her child to change her mind and I couldn't bear the heartache. This also gives me the chance to carry a child that shares my husband's genes. Last, I have no idea what kind of prenatal care a birthmother has had, but carrying a child inside me, I would be able to control the type of medical care. My husband and I so desparately want the chance to become mom and dad, and have a family just like everyone else. I guess in your eyes we will never really be mom and dad, but guardians of any children we may give birth to by ovum donation or even by adoption. You, Miss Marilynn have obviously been lucky enough to have children of your own, otherwise you wouldn't be making such hurtful comments. If our IVF cycle is successful, any child resulting from the procedure will be so loved and wanted. He or she will eventually be told about the nice lady who helped MOMMY to have a baby. That's right, I will be a mom in every way possible. "Adopting" a single cell from a woman does not make her the mother. Before you go and make statements as you have, you really need to read up on the procedure. The fetus grows, every cell in the developing body is built out of the pregnant mother's body. Tissue from her uterine lining will contribute to the formation of the placenta, which will link her and her new child. The fetus will use her body's protein, then she will replace it. The genes merely provide a basic blueprint, the biological mother takes care of all the materials and construction. My husband will be genetically connected to the child, and I will be the biological mom. I think that it's important for the child to grow up knowing how he/she came to be, and we will start out while they are young and go into more detail about it when they get older. I will never lie to my child. My husband and I have kept this a secret from friends and family only because we feel that the child deserves the right to know first and shouln't hear from anyone other than mom and dad. I hope Miss Marilynn, that you will never experience something so painful as being told that you cannot have children with your own eggs, that obviously wasn't my first choice of having a child. I have mourned the loss of passing on my genes and now we are very excited at the opportunity to become MOM and DAD.