Egg Donation & Surrogacy Consulting : Conceptual Options : Theresa Erickson : Embryo Donation, In-Vitro Fertilization

A study came out recently that looked at the success rates of men who provided semen specimen's collected at the IVF Center compared to men who collected at home.

Malmo University Hospital in Lund took 379 men ranging in age from 20 to 58 years old.  They had 106 of the men stay home to collect a specimen while the remaining men went to the IVF Center.  The researchers compared the sperm count and "motility", how they look under the microscope, both crucial factors in successful fertilization of an egg.  The home-collected sample had about 63% more sperm, which were about 54% more often of the highest-grade motility.

It has been determined that the men at the clinics suffered from "acute psychological stress" because of noise, hospital atmosphere, space limitation and the absence of their wife.

Home is where the heart is!

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I found a website today that I really enjoyed reading.  It is written by a Reproductive Endocrinologist about his experiences.  It has an a question and answer area as well as an area with true stories.

In the story that I was reading, the women who was going through the ovary stimulation was the Intended Mother.  As I was reading it, it dawned on me that this would be excellent information for my intended parents and donors alike to know.

The benefit to using an experienced donor is not just simply that they understand the commitment and the medications.  It is that once the medical records are forwarded to the IVF Physician you are using, they know from past experience what medication and how much works to get the best results from that donor. 

I hope you enjoy reading this sight as much as I did.  I will returning to read more in the future.

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Many times when I speak with Intended Parents about retaining an egg donor they are wanting a donor who is available now.  While I completely understand their desire to move forward, I would like to explain the time line involved with Assisted Reproduction.

Intended Parents can feel discouraged when they find a donor they think is perfect and then they find out she isn't available for a few months.  To the parent who wants a baby or pregnancy now, that does sound like it is a long way out.  The reality is, it takes several weeks for the paperwork to be completed before a cycle can be started.

Once a donor is selected by the Intended Parents, the case manager will contact the donor to let her know that her next available cycle is contracted.  At this time, the donor will be given a match agreement to confirm she is aware of the commitment.  Once that is received, we will make arrangements for the donor to be screening by the Psychologist and the Intended Parents IVF Physician.  Sometimes it can be a few weeks before there is an opening at the IVF Center for the donor to be seen.  The cycle can not be started until after the donor passes all the screening.

While all the screening is taking place, the contracts are started.  The contracts can take anywhere from three (3) to five (5) weeks to complete.  This time line is dependent on how many revisions are made by each party and how efficiently all parties sign and return the contract.

Once the contracts are full executed and the donor has passed all the medical screening the cycle can begin. 

So if you are interested in a donor today, but she isn't available for 2-3 months, don't get discouraged.  That is actually perfect timing for getting all the paperwork and screening in order.  Then you will be having your cycle close to her availability instead of months after retaining her.

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So the news is out - Newsweek has put surrogacy on the front cover and now everybody is talking about it.

I think surrogacy is a wonderful option for an infertile couple to achieve parenthood.  I felt like Newsweek has missed this .  Their article is so focused on who and why women become a surrogate mother, yet their interviews and viewpoint are one sided.

I am a middle-class working mother who has also been a surrogate for four (4) families.  My husband and I make a good living, while we are by no means wealthy, I did not choose surrogacy for the money.  For me, surrogacy is a passion.  I love the idea of helping someone achieve a dream through something that is so easy for me to do.  The emotional rewards far out-weigh the monetary aspects. 

Through out my time as a surrogate, I have made many friendships with other surrogates.  A bit of a friendly support group if you will.  We all talk with one another and have compared pregnant bellies.  Of this group of women, none of us are military wives. 

I feel as though Newsweek is misleading it's readers by looking through a magnifying glass at one particular group of people and centering it's article on that.. 

For some women, the financial aspect may be what draws them into inquiring about surrogacy (especially in today's economy), however it is not usually the reason they continue forward with the process.   Experienced surrogates are definitely in it to help someone;  These are women who have a big heart and easy pregnancies. 

As far as the insurance issue goes, I have used my health insurance (provided by my employer) to cover my medical expenses as a surrogate.  With is not segregated to just Tricare Insurance.  

I think any national coverage which can make surrogacy more acceptable in society is a positive thing.  I just hope that as you read the article in Newsweek that you keep an open mind.  

www.conceptualoptions.com  

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So often we talk about infertility with women, but what happens when it's male infertility?  I have provided some basic information about cryobanks (sperm banks). 

There are two main motives that drive donors:

1.  Donations from fertile men who are preserving their reproductive options.  Men will bank their sperm if they are about to undergo surgery, cancer treatment or have a low sperm count.   These are men who want to be able to achieve parenthood at a later time in their life.

2.  Donations from men who contribute for financial reasons.  Men who donate to help infertile couples achieve a family.

If you think it is difficult to get into an Ivy League school, try becoming a sperm donor!  Less than 5 percent of all candidates will be accepted as a donor.  The screening process is vigorous and takes about three (3) months to complete.  Samples and donors are screening continually for sexually transmitted diseases and genetic issues.  Additionally, all donors are screened for cystic fibrosis and undergo chromosome analysis.

Donors may choose to be anonymous or ID Consent Donors.  Anonymous donors are willing provide descriptive details about themselves and their family history with the understanding that they will never have direct communication with the recipients of their sperm or future offspring.  ID Consent donors agree to allow the sperm bank to release identifying information about themselves to the offspring once they reach 18 years of age.  ID Consent Donor are not required to meet the offspring;  the program is designed to provide genetic information to the offspring.

Once the donation has been made, the sperm samples are prepared with a solution that minimizes damage during the freezing and thawing processes.  The samples are frozen using liquid nitrogen. 

Previously frozen sperm doesn't live as long inside a woman's uterus as fresh sperm.  Thawed sperm lives up to 24 hours while fresh sperm can live for 3 - 5 days.  There is no additional risk for birth defects using donated sperm.   

If you require additional information about this, please contact a local cryobank.

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Infertility can be a draining process.  For many couples, it starts by wanting a child and then finding out for some reason it won't be so easy for them.  Depending on why you aren't getting pregnant the solutions can be exhausting.

Infertility affects some 6 million Americans.  For most, this is a major life crisis that puts enormous stress on a marriage.  While some couples become stronger;  learning to lean on and support each other through the experience.  Other couples feel it drives them apart.  This is not to say that they don't still love one another, but the feelings of loss are overwhelming. 

You need to understand that everyone copes differently.  Some people become quiet, because the pain to much to face.  While others want to take it head on and consume themselves in the search discussing every avenue of the situation.  It is important to understand both your partners and your own way of dealing with this.  Most importantly is to communicate and let each other know how you are feeling. 

While searching for the right donor or surrogate, don't loose sight of who you are.  Continue to live, have fun with each other.  Enjoy dinner out, go see a movie - Do the things you have enjoyed together.  Not only will this give you something else to focus on, but it will remind you of what you love about the other person.

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Today is Easter Sunday which typically is a day spent with family.  We usually have a quiet morning and then family starts to arrive for brunch and an afternoon together.  While everyone is at our house, the house is loud and the kids are running from one end of the house to the other.  By the evening everyone is ready to relax and sit quietly.

As a surrogate the holidays have an extra special benefit.  All four (4) families I have helped to have children call me on holidays.  All our lives get busy and the surrogate children, just like my own, grow bigger and have busier schedules.  Through out our day to day lives we don't always make the time to call each other.  So when we do get an opportunity to talk for 10 or 15 minutes it is always appreciated. 

Today when I was on the phone it was amazing to me that all but one of the children could wish me a Happy Easter on their own.  This was extra special.  I was able to talk with five (5) of the six (6) kids I had a hand in bringing into the world.  The sixth is too young, but I did get some baby talk out of her as well.  This makes my heart grow. 

It is moments like today that truly make me appreciate all I have. 

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There was a report done by University of Melbourne (Australia) that showed that moms who have their babies using IVF (with or without a donor or surrogate) have a lower level of confidence when it comes to caring for their newborn baby. 

I was quite surprised to read this.  After everything a woman goes through to have a child using IVF I would think the opposite would be true.  These women have already overcome so many obstacles I would expect them to have a huge sense of empowerment.  A feeling of anything is possible and the confidence of "there isn't anything I can't do".

All new parents have felt anxious and overwhelmed by bringing their first child home from the hospital.  There are no books that can clearly prepare you for the change in priorities and patterns in your life.  For so many this can be extremely exhausting.  This is not something that is tied to IVF, this is universal. 

This makes me remember a time with my son (who is my second child);  It was about 2:00a.m., he was a week old and  was just crying and crying.  I was walking with him in my arms downstairs.  I tried everything, but there was no pleasing him. The house was quiet, everyone else was upstairs sleeping, so his cry just echoed in my ears.   I had tried everything till finally I completely broke down crying.  At that moment I was thinking "I can't do this, I'm not a good enough mother to have two kids".  The more upset I became the harder it was to calm him down.  Finally I sat down, took a deep breath and then just like magic, he fell asleep.  When we both woke up a few hours later, I had my confidence back and was ready for the new day.

Regardless of how your baby came to be, celebrate the moments and know you are the best mom you can be.  There will be times when you need help and there will be times you can run the entire world while making dinner and vacuuming the house with the baby in a carrier on your chest!!

Being a mother is the hardest thing a woman can be.  Put forward your best efforts and your child will know your love is true. 

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Throughout my week in the office, I receive many calls from Intended Parents who are just starting to look at egg donors or surrogacy as an option.  Often they do not know what steps to take to make their dream of parenthood come true.  Thier website search had lead them to me, but they aren't sure what comes next. 

For obvious reasons, it will be necessary for the couple to have an IVF Physician or Center selected.  There are many factors you will want to consider when choosing an IVF Physician. 

• Success Rate of the Center
• Quality of Service (Compasion, Care, Cleamliness, etc.)
• Location

I would strongly suggest that you create a list of potential Centers, make an appoitment for a consultation at each and then take notes as you discuss the options with the Physician.  You can also ask to have a tour of the facility.  You wil want to see that the facility appears to run smoothly, meaning that office staff are being productive, communicating with eachother in a manner that creates a effective environment.  Are the examing rooms clean, nothing left behind from the previous patient or exams.  And most important, do you feel comfortable and possitive about the experience. 

The decision made is a personal one.  Just because a friend or family member used a particular facility, does not mean that facility will be right for you.  The best thing you can do is to research your choice before committing to your decision.

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Thank you for taking the time to review my blog.  My name is Tracy.  I am a Case Manager for Conceptual Options and have been a surrogate for four families. 

It is my intent to provide readers with positive aspects of assisted reproduction.  I plan to cover a wide spectrum of information and reference material that will assist people in understanding the process. 

I will also spend time sharing my experiences as a surrogate to educate people on the emotional side and aspects that make surrogacy so rewarding for the surrogate. 

I welcome comments and suggestions.  I would be happy to provide you with the information you want to see.

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