Dynamics of the Relationship
When I first considering being a surrogate one of the thoughts that rang through my head was "will the intended mother get jealous of me?" This played a big role in my decision at first.
My concern was centered around the fact that I was helping a couple with something that the wife was not able to do on her own. I thought about the scenario of the couple sitting around the kitchen table in the evening hours (while I'm carrying their child), that perhaps they would speak of me. How would that woman feel?
Since I really didn't know how to answer this question, I chose to do my first surrogacy for a gay couple (two men). That eliminated my concern. While my first time as a surrogate was a wonderful experience from start to finish, I knew I wanted to do it again and this time it would be for a heterosexual couple.
The first time I met the Intended Parents, I knew that my concerns were unnecessary. Both parents were so thankful that I was willing to do this for them, that there was never anything other than a friendship. In fact the Intended Mother and I created a lifelong bond that is unlike any other.
I have enjoyed all my experiences as a surrogate and use these experiences as tools when I talk with surrogates and/or intended parents. I am hopeful that I can shed a new perspective to someone out there who doesn't know what to expect.
If you are considering surrogacy, but are concerned about the dynamics of the relationship between you and the intended parents, my best suggestion is to be yourself during the initial meeting. As long as you are yourself, you will provide a positive image to the intended parents and it will be easier for you to determine how this relationship with blossom.
